Miserable

Well, as you can see, neither of my bars have moved up since Monday. Monday I was doing fine. I might not have been able to work on Daina, but I had finished a scene in the short story I was working on, and I finished critiquing a friend's story.

Then the week fell apart. I've been in a bit of a mood, which some people might call depression. Sometimes I don't know what's wrong with me. Yesterday was the most horrendous day. Just having bad luck all around (including a rejection for one of my stories from Cemetery Dance - for the life of me, I'm not sure where to send that story anymore, although I love it and want it published).

Okay, I don't want to depress anyone else. I did read Harry Potter: Half-Blood Prince this past week (no spoilers ahead, don't worry). Actually, I read the 652 page book in two days. She needs to strike the word very from her vocabulary, but I stick to her being an excellent storyteller. I know there are some people that sneer at her success. They say she's not a good writer, etc. Yes, she has flaws, but doesn't every writer? We should be happy for her success. She wouldn't be as popular as she is if she didn't have something. Me, I think that something is excellent storytelling ability and her willingness to torture her characters. Every writer should know that torturing (emotionally at least) is a must when writing popular fiction. Key in fantasy. I know our characters are our babies, but it gets dull after a while if you don't heap the conflict on them.

Well, I guess I'm going to attempt to raise my word count meters. I should clean this house, but my husband and I can live in the squalor for a little while... I should pay bills too (urk). Here's hoping nothing bad comes in the mail today. Hope everybody else's week has been better than mine.

New Angle

Okay, I'll get into the title of this post after one thing.



There he is. My twelve-year-old goldfish. You know I had to post it as a large pic - Stars deserves no less. I do think he's determined to live until I get a novel published. Do you think he knows that means he might have to live forever?

Anyway, as my post title says, I'm approaching my procrastination thing from a new angle. Starting today. I have to find some way of engouraging my brain (or tricking it, as the case may be). The lists thing isn't working, even though I will always have my lists, otherwise I will forget half the things I need to do. So, I now have a word meter on my blog (see the little worm off the the left, right under my profile info).

If I don't update that every other day at least, well, I'd say I'd shoot myself in my foot, but I don't own a gun and pain is not my friend, so I'll say I'll feel even more guiltier than usual. Okay, okay, I need a punishment if I'm bad. Let's see. Taking some Everquest time away is the only punishment I can think of right now. And that won't work because I have no willpower, and my husband won't stop me. Then it might have to be the reward thing. Well, that can't include anything having to do with buying things, so that narrows down the field pretty dam quickly. I'll have to think harder about the punishment reward thing if I don't keep moving that counter up. Any suggestions are welcome (within reason - yes, this note is for you, Chun).

Anyway, I got the idea for the word meter thing from Diana's live journal - she's counting up to when the last of her rough draft is finished. I know I had one of those counter things during Nanowrimo and it didn't help me write more, but this time it's a worm, and that makes all the difference (lmao). :) I also only intend to use it for novel length projects. I tend not to have a word goal for short stories because I never know how long they'll be. Perhaps I'll add a second bar eventually for total word count in a week. That might be a good idea. I'll think about it...thinking, okay, I twisted my arm. I think that one will be a silver counter.

The things I do to try to trick myself. Oh fudge, I have to do dishes before the hubbie comes home. Adding the counter then off to clean. Happy writing!

Queries = Queasy

Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Well, it's true. I was searching for a few agents to query today and my stomach was doing flips, along with the shaking of the hands and such. I think I'm just so scared that I'm going to screw up on one itty bitty thing, so the form rejections will be right in the mail. It's that paranoia of mine. And perfectionism.

So, after searching for some agents to submit to, I was preparing the packages to be mailed out, still cringing. When, lo and behold, I hear a crash from the other room. I notice both cats are in the room with me, so I can't blame them (darn). Investigating, I discover one of my bookshelves had decided to give way (only one shelf thankfully). I am still trying to figure out how this would be a GOOD sign, but anyway I look at it, it speaks of forbodeing. I'm doomed, cursed. And I wish to strangle the fairies in my house for making mischief (too much lately - they keep moving objects in front of my feet so I'm constantly stubbing my toes).

Well, whether I'm cursed or not, I sent out an e-query today, and two other queries are ready to be snail-mailed out tomorrow. I still have yet to hear back from that second agency. Right now I'm guessing my rejection is lost in the postal system, simply because our post office is run by morons. Yesterday I received mail that was supposed to go to our address on a different street (McCall, Hartwell - can the difference be anymore blatant?), and today our Netflix arrived totally drenched (yes, it's raining out, but isn't that what the mail truck is for and the mail bag? to keep things dry!). I do wonder how we'll be sending that disk back - maybe 2 in the same envelope.

I think the rest of this day calls for a Hard Cider and working on my website (or playing video games). Although, a hard cider would go well with the Terry Pratchett book I'm reading.

Until next week (or maybe later this week if something GOOD happens...perhaps I'll post a pic of my 12-year-old goldfish). Happy writing!

Reasons

Okay, I think I know the biggest reason why I haven't blogged lately. If I post what I'm about to post, it will have to solidify in reality and I'll have to accept it because it will be readable by the public. Then I'll be sad. I might cry (I'm an emotional mess - ask my husband, I cry at way too many sad scenes on TV and in movies). That was a tangent. See - I don't want to say it. But I have to don't I? I mean, you'll all be able to see it in my profile now anyway, since I updated the darn thing. Here I go. A strange sense of vertigo is taking over. Okay, that's all in my head. Yes, I'll stop putting it off now.

I'm finally graduated! I now have my Master of Arts degree in Writing Popular Fiction. And I don't have those wonderful week-long residencies to look forward to. *cries* I warned you.

Okay, I am sad about the residencies and the socializing with people who have the same goal in the writing program (it's the socialization I looked forward to - me the socially handicapped one). But, I'm also happy I finished it. It's an accomplishment for me, and well, I'm proud of myself. Not only that, but the final residency was a blast. Little sleep and small shocks. The shock mainly being the response I got when I did my thesis reading (20 minutes of selected scenes in my novel). Everyone loved it! I still think now and again they were just being nice, but then I tell myself to stop being so pessimistic (see, I'm trying). I had to be grilled with questions by my mentors right after the reading and then by everyone else listening. They all started asking storyline and background questions, and me being a fool was giving some of it away until I finally realized what they were doing and said: Enough! Read the novel! So now I have to get it published so they can read the novel. :p Got to love how that works.

I know I should have posted about residency a week ago when I got back, but I think it all needed to settle. In January I'll still be, "Aren't I supposed to be in Pennsylvania?" I also took the week off last week. Although, I did tweak a story and submit it to another mag. Oh, I still haven't heard anything from that second agent. This week I hope to send another query out at least, as I try to catch up with other writerly things (and now look for a part-time job - bleh).

I thought this blog would be longer. That I'd have more to talk about. My mind just had an overload. Too much Mountain Dew I think. Well, if I missed anything big, I'm sure Chun will remind me, so I'll just have to post again.

Oh, yes - look at the picture of Roland. Isn't he a snot? (if the image posting thing is working that is)

Happy Writing!